Thursday, November 14, 2013

Mindfulness, Acceptance, and Trying to Fix Others' So-Called Flaws

I have spent too much time on "what is wrong with the world." Or with people. Or with myself.

Living the mindful life dissolves this conversation. It's about accepting what is rather than judging everything as "okay" or "not okay" in my petty understanding of the universe.

This goes for how I treat other human beings, and how I treat myself.

There are times when my weaknesses seem so glaring. I want to fix them. Or outright reject them. I want to reject me.

"Ohmygosh, Christi! You are disorganized! You are overcommitted! You are scattered and flaky! You are way too unpredictable! You are shy at the wrong times, and a loudmouth when you're not being shy! Can't you be normal?" The litany goes on.

But then I remember, my real problem isn't the current weakness I'm perceiving. My real problem is my lack of acceptance.

I turn things around when I start talking to myself differently.

I can replace the above commentary with something like this:

"I accept you, Christi! With all your multi-facetedness! With your enthusiasm! With your divergent thinking! You are full of surprises! You are versatile, with a flexible approach and interest in many things, which makes you unique. You are exactly the way you need to be." 

What a difference!

The same goes for the way I treat others. I can see them as flawed, or let the power of love show me their perfection.

More and more, we humans are finding out that what we once thought "wrong" or "abnormal" is merely a different way of being, valid and beautiful.

Andrew Solomon highlights the power of acceptance in a moving way with the following Ted Talk.