Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Inner Door

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me." --Revelation 3:20

I loved this scripture as a child, and loved to gaze at the picture on the classroom wall of my Sunday school.

What I didn't know: where the door was.

I always thought of Jesus floating up, up, in heaven or somewhere in the atmosphere, in another dimension, say, and when he knocked on the doors of people's hearts, he stood outside of them.

I've come to see it differently. Jesus is already inside.

All right, all right. I can hear the clamor of disagreement. But hold on. Think about it. Jesus doesn't enter into your life from the outside in. He comes from the inside out. That door, it's inside you. The place where your wisdom dwells. Your best hunches. Your most loving gestures. That deep knowing that you were born for something holy and beautiful.

We all have this inner chamber. In many people it has been neglected. But for those of us who may have opened the door a crack, we aren't "better" or "more worthy" than someone who hasn't found the door.

Man-made tradition has always removed God and Christ from the everyday hearts and lives of people. All people. Especially those who don't call themselves the right name. Tradition has gotten us in the habit of telling people all about their sin and ugliness, and how far they are from God. God is not far, however.

He is as close as one's own heart.

In fact, you and I both know some amazing people in whom we have seen Jesus - who would never think to call themselves Christians. (And thank goodness for that!)

Jesus comes from the inside out. He's inhabiting heaven already, and that place, the kingdom of heaven, is within you. He waits to be invited out - into your thoughts, into this day, and out into the world. Listen for his laugh, his breath, and his knock.

4 comments:

Goes Nowhere Laughing said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Goes Nowhere Laughing said...

I cry when I read this. I should rejoice, but I cry when I see someone living in the light of Jesus as He meant it to be. I cry because I know the truth, am beginning to feel the truth, but do not live that truth.

Why do I close my door on Jesus? Why do I stay and probably enjoy this pain of knowing and not living in the truth and light? I have always thought I could never do it, and now that I am closer than I have ever been, the negativity continues.

My God, there is no formula, no universal set of rituals and rites. My God, must I take the final step alone? I am afraid. Why do I not rejoice to be on the edge of enlightenment, to be poised to live as Christ, with Christ, in Christ? How do I do what I do not believe I can do but know I must?

Yes, "Tradition has gotten us in the habit of telling people all about their sin and ugliness, and how far they are from God." So how does a lifetime of self-condemnation and unworthiness stop with a thumb and middle-finger snap? The fear seems too great a wall to scale.

One level deeper, I have defined myself for decades as "The Seeker." I do not know how to see myself as "The Finder." What is it like to be and not be ashamed to be? What is it like to be forgiven by God and self and Jesus? Why have I struggled all my life to get to this place and not be able to take the final step?

Christi, you write, I read, God stirs in my heart, and I cry .

Bless you dear Christi, and bless God for you,
Larry

Christi Krug said...

Larry, thank you for the heartfelt response. I am not living in the light as I could be, but I so appreciate that you recognize the light. "That which is holy in me honors that which is holy in you."

Your questions are mine, too. Why do I close the door on Jesus? A beautiful and true question. Thank you for being so willing to ask it.

Theresa said...

How beautiful your words are Christi. I just came home from church feeling a little empty, but your words brought me warmth and light. Thank you for your gift.