Going Public: Being Online and Hating It

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you—Nobody—Too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! They'd advertise—you know!

How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
--Emily Dickinson

Sometimes, I hate being online. Trying to be "somebody" seems a poisoned pill, a "necessary evil". Marketers and publicists tell me how important it is for a business owner and writer to network socially, to be visible. But I'm a sensitive person, and this activity makes me feel stretched and thin as I wave tentacles, trying to connect with random invisible readers.

Then I realize, this whole online thing doesn't have to be a great fit for me.

I notice others - saints and poets, past and present - who have chosen to put their energy elsewhere; my true life isn't in what people are noticing or not noticing. My true life is in that secret chamber of the spirit, my connection to something far greater than "famousness."

The trick then, is participating, but not immersing myself in blogging, networking - not letting myself feel worthy or unworthy according to the outcome or readership. Understanding the value is but a temporary thing, a fleeting but usuable tool for my work. It's living in a paradox. Really, I could desert the whole outfit, become a recluse like Emily Dickinson, and be perfectly happy, but what good would that do the universe? Fleeing the other frogs is just as self-centered as getting into croaking competitions with them.

So then. I may be in this bog, but I'm not of it.(Grin.)

Croak on, frogs. I know who I really am.